Rain & Tears

The rain has been a constant presence today. It has pattered, and hissed, and roared, and blanketed, and it still whispers even as I write. For some reason, rainy days make it easier to walk memory’s halls and see my own history more clearly. Perhaps the rain is part of our King’s “washing of regeneration” by His word. Do you ever wonder how creation responds to its maker’s voice? I think of the rain, the bolts of lightning, and the blasts of thunder as just that, creation’s response to its maker.

Rain makes me think of life, of renewal, and ultimately of regeneration. Today, I have been working through some hard things. This letter is about heartbreak, about grief, and ultimately about living in the choice of joy.

Today, I had the distinct privilege of spending some time with a dear friend. We visited for a little while, but eventually (as so many conversations between people of our generation do) the topic moved into dating. The short version is that I fell pretty hard for a girl who wasn’t really interested in me. Really, the circumstances are irrelevant. The point is that it hurt, and hurt is an emotion that no one wants to face. I’m not talking about the sting of an all-too-honest joke, I’m talking about the kind of hurt that wrenches in your chest and is too big for tears. The thing I really want to share is that standing in that hurt is not the end of the line.

Have you ever wondered what you are worth? Have you ever thought, “it’s only me, why would anyone care?” Yeah…me too. And then I begin to read the letter, the most glorious love letter ever written. It was written not with ink on paper, but with the radiant stars in the expanse, with wash of waves on sand, with the fall of each unique piece of snow. But His love letter, it doesn’t only span creation, it spans time itself.

So often, standing in the pain of emotional rejection leads us into lies. We begin to ask questions like the one above…”what am I worth?”…”who really cares?”… and we begin to be “futile in our thinking, and exchange the Truth of God for a lie.” This is so dangerous! We are called to stand firm, and occasionally that means to stand firm in the midst of pain. Our Lord doesn’t ask to do anything that he has not already done. Hebrews 4 says that he sympathizes with us. His best friends not only left him when he needed them most, but they rejected even being associated with him. I have known heartbreak, but I have never had someone I loved deny knowing me. Our king knows, and he still calls us to obedience and to confidence and to joy.

As I sit and write, I still feel the ache of rejection. I feel the wrench inside my chest as I think about all the things that might have gone differently, but I am not defined by those feelings. In the midst of pain and grief and tears, I can smile. I smile because I am loved to a degree that I will probably never understand. In the midst of rejection, I smile because I have been accepted to the extent that I cannot fail. In the midst of tears, I can laugh because there is joy that I cannot explain or repress.

My friends, smile. Smile because the almighty King of everything chose you. Smile because we serve a King who understands this pain and still asked forgiveness for those who betrayed him. Smile because in this pain, you will be comforted.

Don’t ask rhetorical questions looking for more rejection. Follow Christ’s example, weep with those who love you. Stand in the emotion and allow your master to take it from you. “And though the sorrow may last through the night, His joy comes with the morning.”

Tears are often like the rain, they wash, and water, and encourage growth. It’s ok to cry and to feel hurt. Just remember that you are wanted and that you have been chosen!

As a final thought, Matthew chapter 5 is a great place to be reminded of our identity.  I love you and continue to lift you up before our King!

 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. –Rom 15:13

To be Chosen

I sit beneath the starry dome

  As usual, it’s only me.

“If only, now, I had a friend

  To show them what I see.

To share a cup of coffee

  And watch to stars come out.

To laugh at silly little jokes

  A friend to never doubt.”

Heartache seems to cover me

  I feel like no one cares.

There’s prob’ly something wrong with me

  To judge by people’s stares.

And yet…

            I hear a whisper,

   A tenuous stream of thought:

“I choose you.”

  “No, that’s just absurd!

No one really likes me,

 And certainly not you!

I’m just not worth the trouble!”

 “Do you really think that’s true?!

No, you are worth my trouble!

  In fact, you’re worth my pain.

I choose you!

  I don’t think that you’re inane!

My child, remember my Love.

  My love, remember the Truth!

My trusted, remember the sacrifice.

  Remember…it was for you!” 

Hmm, the Gospel of Christ’s love for us is something that has inspired poets for the last two millennia, and will most likely continue to do so until the end of days. The question I received touches on a topic that is extremely important to me. So without further ado, let’s dig in.

I don’t feel chosen by the Lord, beautifully made, or good “enough.” I’m not sure what my question is but if you have time it would be amazing to see what God has to say about these things and your perspective on them too.

Gosh, the first thing I want you to know is that you are not alone in feeling those things. Not only do I feel that way sometimes, but I would be willing to bet that every single person on the planet does as well.

The second thing is that you are not good enough. Trying to fulfill the calling that the Lord has laid on us, “be holy as I am holy,” is impossible for us to do. The sooner we learn that being even being “good” (to say nothing of being good enough) is out of our range capabilities, the sooner we can be free. Please, please, please don’t try to be good enough. The Pharisees were “good enough,” and it was they who captured our King in the middle of the night and crucified Him.

I’m coming back to this, but I need to explain something else first.

What does it mean to feel chosen? How can we feel the unbelievably awesome power of Christ’s joy over our salvation, over His bride? So often, I don’t feel loved or chosen. I don’t feel like it’s all that big a deal to be Christian in this day and age. My friends, that is our enemy’s masterful deception. The entire Bible is the story of God’s choice.

Join me for a moment. I want you to imagine something: think of yourself as mother. Imagine the joy that your child brings you, just by existing. He doesn’t need to do anything special, your love for him is complete just because he’s yours. Think about the true, all-encompassing joy that that image brings. The kind of joy that is so big it hurts inside. I want you to imagine watching while the most elite of green berets torture that child for 15 hours until he dies. Now remember John 3:16. God watched that…for you.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed with every spiritual blessing. For God choose us, in Christ before the foundation of the world” (Eph 1:3-4a).

Let that sink in. You…no, not the person you could or should be, you! …were chosen. He wanted you so badly that He watched His only, dearly-loved son be crucified (the most painful form of torture available) for you! It is so easy for us to let the Gospel become this big philosophical, esoteric idea. While it is big enough to handle that kind of perspective, that’s not what it’s about! It is about a choice. It is about the most painful choice in history. God separated, literally tore himself apart, because of how much He loves you. The Gospel is about a choice. It is about the most beautiful love story that has ever been written. The Hero is so captivated by His beloved that He gives His life to save her, and then rises from the dead so that there can still be a joyous ending. The Hero gave His life for you and has called you His bride. He thinks that who you are is so captivating that He can’t look away. He named you so valuable that He gave his life to save yours, and there is still a happily-ever-after to come.

Don’t try to be good enough. Rejoice in the redemption that has washed that necessity away. You are beloved and you are forgiven, your identity is pure perfection in your lover’s eyes.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Prov 31:30)

Don’t fall into the trap of examining your skin, the shape of your body, or the clothes that the Lord has provided. God looks at the heart, and He wants yours. If you seek to find who you are in how you look, you will find identity there. The identity that you will find there is deceptive, vain, manipulative, cutting, and ultimately flimsy. That identity can be deeply wounded every time a girl gives you a disparaging look or a guy’s eyes move right past you, never realizing that you’re there. Please, my dearest sisters, don’t find your identity there! Fear the Lord and only Him. Your heart only has room to fear one thing. If you are afraid of not looking beautiful, then you have given your heart to vanity. This tears at the heart of the One who loves you! He loves you so desperately that when you give your heart to anything else, He weeps.

He has passed down the story of His love for you, from generation to generation. He calls us to remember what has been done for us.

Feelings are very real, but don’t let them govern your view of the Truth. On the days that you don’t feel beautiful, or wanted: remember! Remember what your bridegroom thinks of you. Remember what He has done to show His choice. Remember that His love is desperate, and he wants nothing less than all!

I thank God, every time I remember you in my prayers. Remember His love story and what it really means to be chosen. I love you guys!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. –Rom 15:13

To Walk in Confidence

This month has been a whirlwind for me, so I can’t imagine how crazy these weeks have been for you. I apologize for not writing in these last weeks, I hope to be able spend some more time writing in the next few months.

I got a wonderful question yesterday, and I am going to try and give some perspective. Whenever I give an answer to a question, please don’t think of it as absolute Truth. I will do my best to write out of Spirit’s leadership, but I am sinful and make errors in interpretation. I want you to think of this letter as perspective. It will hopefully give you some more tools for answering these questions for yourself in the future. That said, let’s dig in!

What exactly does it mean to follow the plan God has for you? Can you mess up the plan? Is there more than one "path"?

I know God will use me anywhere I end up but my desire is to be exactly where He wants me!

Ah, how many times I’ve wished that God had included user manual for the life of Zach Tingle! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve agonized over hard decisions and begged for clarity. Romans 1:21-23 says that even though I knew God, I did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but I became futile in my thinking, and my foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, I became a fool, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man. My priorities were out of place. The decisions in front of me had become more important that my relationship with my Father. In a sense, I became so focused on “doing” what God called me to do that I began to worship the action itself and not the one who called me to it.

I would like to reorient this question a little bit. It is really frustrating to search the Word of God to figure out which major you are supposed to pursue, which city to live in, which person to date, etc. I have tried, and I have failed to figure out any of those things. Our king is far less concerned with what we do than with who we are. To answer your questions directly, following God’s will for your life is to become more like His son (1 Pet 1:13-16). If you are earnestly seeking His face, you cannot mess His plan for you up.

This is just me for a sec. I have to preface this by telling you that I am an uber Beaver-lion. I love having everything all planned out and everything in order. But from my experience, it doesn’t matter what you do (profession, major, greek life, student organizations, etc). I have found so much more joy and freedom living life trusting that the Lord will take care of the details. At this point in my life, I have no idea what the next steps are. I think the Lord has called me to the Middle East as a missionary, but He currently has me working in the IT department at Pine Cove. I have no idea why I’m here, but He hasn’t opened up the doors for me to go anywhere else yet. I submit applications to mission organizations every couple of months, but I haven’t heard back (which I take to mean, “don’t move”). Seek the things that you are passionate about, but don’t get bent out of shape when either you don’t hear back or get accepted to all of them. The latter circumstance is the Lord letting you choose.  Prov 16:9 says that we get to plan, but ultimately the Lord will direct the way we go. Be anxious for nothing, but pray with a grateful heart (Phil 4:6)

Some questions that have served me far better than “what should I do” in the last few years are, who has God created me to be? And, what am I worshiping? In keeping with the idea that God’s will for us is about transformed into the image of His son (Romans 12:1), it follows that who we are and what we’re worshiping become very important questions.

You heard what your identity is this summer. Are you walking in that? Have other factors started influencing that identity (student, girlfriend, sorority sister)? Is it possible that you have started worshiping the will of God in your life more that God himself?

Here are a few pieces of advice I have received over the years that may be of use to you.

• Get to know the Lord so well that you know what He would do if He were in your shoes. 
•  Remember that your life is no longer your own.
• Trust that the Lord is taking care of you.
• Remember that painful circumstances are not indicators of the “wrong path.”
• Pray!

I love you guys and I continue to pray for each of you! Walk in the confidence that trusting the Lord brings!

May the Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace. -Numbers 6:24-26 

Prayer’s Battlefield

Unless you guys have some specific questions, I’m going to spend a little bit of time talking about spiritual disciplines. Matt Lantz put it so well when he said that “spiritual disciplines are the sail of the Christian life. They put us in a place to move with wind of the Spirit.” For me, many of the times I have felt most alone and ‘becalmed’ are the times in which I have left the disciplines of the Spirit out of my daily and weekly routine.

I begin with the discipline of prayer partially because prayer is one of the disciplines that I still have a lot of trouble maintaining, so the earlier you can begin to get a handle on it, the better. And, I choose it partially because prayer is the discipline by which we grow in any of the others, so in order to develop the others, we need to grow in this one.

One of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray as John [the Baptist] also taught his disciples.” And He said to them…
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

I know we hear the phrase “Lord, teach us to pray” and we think “Our Father, who art in heaven…” While these scriptures are together, it is tragic that we think of a rote prayer. The verse right before the Lord’s prayer in Matthew says, “and when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.” This brings me to my point; prayer is not a filibuster or slam poetry, it is a battle.

Prayer is not a filibuster or a slam poem. We will not be more heard because we spend 5 hours talking at the Lord. We will not be more promptly answered because we pray with eloquence. More words do not make our prayers better. The next verse in Matthew says that our Father knows what we need before we ask Him. Think how weird it would be if a 4-year-old spent ten minutes explaining why she needs a drink of water after playing outside. We all know that a child needs water after playing, so when my little cousin comes in a asks, "may I have a drink?" the answer is, "of course!" How much more does our Father in heaven rejoice in giving His children good gifts. I am not saying we should spend less time praying; I am saying let your words be few.

When I say battle, I mean it in a couple of different ways. First, it is a battle of will to bow my heart and pray. It is so much easier for me to go and do the things scripture commands of me. I like having a nice bullet-pointed list of what I need to do for my King. There is a place for that, but Christ says in Luke 10:42 that the better choice is to sit at His feet. Second, I mean that when we pray we are participating in an actual battle that we cannot see. Jesus demonstrates this in Mark when He casts out a demon that the disciples had been unable to overcome. They ask Jesus how He did it, and His response is that it can only be done by prayer.

With these two kinds of battle in mind it gives us a few very practical ways that we can approach the discipline of prayer well:

1. Don’t pray when you are not fully awake and alert. Just as no warrior would enter a battle unrested or groggy, so we should not approach this battlefield unless we are ready for battle. I started with Eph 6 because much of prayer is being unmoved (standing firm) by the yawns and errant thoughts that assail us as we pray. I don’t recommend making your prayer time early in the morning, right after a meal, or late at night. Speaking personally, I am weak and the temptation to rest my head on my hands and doze when I am trying to pray is overwhelming at those times of day. As you heard so often in your time in Baby Ruth’s make the most of your time. When you are tired and trying to pray, you neither pray well nor do you rest…it’s a lose-lose.
2. Follow the example of Mary in Luke 10, and take time to just sit in the presence of the King. Don’t read, don’t speak, don’t doze, but sit and listen to our Lord. This is one in particular is going to be a battle. It’s hard enough to talk to an invisible and often inaudible God, how much more so to be quiet and listen for Him.
3. Hebrews 4:12 says that the “the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword.” So pray the very words of God. He has given us a weapon in His word, carry it with you and use it in the battle of prayer. Praying the Psalms is a great place to start.

As a side note, a great way to practice listening to the Lord is the pray and ask Him what He wants you to be praying about and then be still and listen. Think how truly beautiful it would be (aside from just being really cute) if a little child came to her father and asked, “Daddy, what do want me to ask for?” What a cool opportunity! That father can then lead his child into what is best for her with ease and joy rather than command and punishment. It is another way we can completely surrender to our King.


May the Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace. -Numbers 6:24-26